Most girls, if not all, are believers of love. Who wouldn’t want something so precious, pure and promising in their lives, anyway? The whole concept and thought of love is easier to grasp than broken homes, relationships and hate. People (and yes, I’m generalizing everyone) are just bound to favor the goodness more. Sometimes, though, this also leads to the downfall of many.
According to CDC, 1 in 5 women has experienced dating violence. 1 in every 5. And those are just the reported cases. Here in my country, I’m pretty sure not a lot of women and girls are aware that they are actually being abused. Because, for some cultural reason, we are made to believe at a twisted concept of marriage – we don’t get into relationships unless it is the guy we want to or close to the guy we have in minds to marry. The end result? We work our asses off at trying to keep the whole relationship intact and glued together thinking that it is our duty and responsibility to ourselves to actually make it work. Because, this freaking douchebag is our future – our future husband! And we therefore owe it to our future kiddos and future happiness to make it work now. We miss this one thing, though – relationships aren’t meant to be toxic; and so, if it isn’t working now, how can we ever think that it’ll work in the future if we continue on the same path the relationship is currently taking?
Here’s the thing with abusive relationships: it makes you doubt yourself to the point wherein you think that it is you who is at fault. And then you try to resolve things, thinking that if you change your attitude and perception of everything, things will actually change between the two of you. Well, the thing is, it doesn’t. It never did and goodness knows it never will.
Sometimes, we all tend to allow ourselves to hurt just because of a promised better future. Although there is nothing wrong with optimism, even positive things have its limits as well. We cannot ever justify something cruel and horrible with the concept of goodness and fairness. Being a martyr and sanguine are two entirely different things.I guess what I’m really getting at is, any form of abuse is wrong. And I’m pretty sure that all the abused women out there know that they are being abused. They are just either too afraid to confront it; or worse, they are too afraid to let go.
I for one, am from an abusive relationship. Although my ex-boyfriend never hurt me physically, abuse can be in a lot of forms. I was mentally and emotionally abused. I was made to think that I am nothing without him. I was made to think that he defines me. I was made to think that I was less than what I actually am. I became dependent on him for just about everything in my life – from the simple decisions of what I’d be eating for dinner to major ones, such as where I’d be spending my future days, etc. I almost forgot who I was. I almost forgot how precious I was.
So, if you are one of us, and you know you no longer like the way you are being treated, just please step back for a little while. Thinking things through is never harmful – staying at something abusive is. You and your partner may have had amazing moments (which I’m sure you truly had), but sometimes, you also have to realize whether they are still the same person as you remember them to be. Times change and you must have just been too blinded and stubborn to notice just how much different the person you loved in the past and the person who is slapping and shouting at you right now are. I know it’ll be very difficult, but set yourself free. You are precious and amazing. There are far more people who loves you than someone who thinks it is okay to step on you day in and out. And lastly, no one (and I say no one – not even the worst person in the world) deserves to be mistreated and wrecked. We all are meant to be experiencing the true essence and beauty of something as vague and indefinite as love.