I know a lot has been said and done. It has been a massive train wreck – you and I. The road has not just been bumpy but a cyclical pattern of hurt and be hurt. It’s been years since we parted but how come until this very day it’s as if I just had my heart broken? As the year bids good bye, I guess it’s about time that this ends and be nothing but a chapter on this final year.
I never wished ill of you but I guess it’s high time I wish something for myself without you. I have become prey to you over and over, luring me into your traps of promises and care only to end up hurt in the end. And this has to stop. I offered you friendship and what has it gotten me in the end? Not entirely nothing. You gave me new wounds to tend to – new suffering to endure and new experiences to get over with.
And I’m tired. I can’t reiterate how much of a burden you have been to me. I’m so freaking tired and I need to lay all this to rest. So, here I am, with nothing else to offer but a plead to let me be and let me go. I see it now. You no longer love me – you just need me. Because, out of all the people you know (your family included), you can never erase the fact that I am the only person in this world who has understood you fully. And I still continually do, mind you. I still try to understand you with every inch of my being. But you never valued that, haven’t you? You’ve always taken that for granted. You have always taken me for granted. And now, I accept that. It’s okay. I can’t and won’t force you to. Just know this, though, YOU ARE MISSING OUT. It may not sink in now, but I know someday it will. You cannot outrun your true self forever. Pretend all you want right now, but you can never lose sight of who you truly are forever.
Having said all that, I wish you luck on this new life you have chosen to live. I have always been the one you keep on choosing to hurt over and over and that ends now. From this day forth, I am refusing to allow you to hurt me further. This will be the last time. You are no longer worth it. Every truth I held on to for so long no longer matters because at the end of it all, you never fought for me. And I’m pretty sure, you never will.