And it’s one of those days when you just feel the need to pour it all out when everything else around you is going abysmal.
I refuse to be the kind of person who has a uni-dimensional life. I refuse to be changed by the external factors going on in my life right now. I refuse to be changed by all the negative people around me. I refuse to succumb solely into my career and let all the aspects of my personality be buried with it. There is more to life than work. Work is just a part of it, not the whole of it. And yes, I do not want to become a success in one field in the future and failing most of life, in general. I cannot and I won’t allow that.
I’d like to think that I’m a good person and I have a great career ahead of me. It’s just that, some days, I feel bad about all the time I have to sacrifice in order to achieve all of it – all the meet-ups I have to turn down, all the possibilities of meeting (new) people, and yes, the possibility of finding the one. Some days too, the past has its way of wiggling itself back to you, leaving you in wonder “how the hell did I allow myself to not make everything work out with you?” Well, timing is a bitch – as what they always say. And maybe, things weren’t just meant to be. Most days I’m fine by that. But some days, it’s harder to swallow (especially on down days). I’m feeling hopeful, though. Somewhere out there in the vastness of the universe is that one person solely meant for me. Somewhere out there, there’s that one person who’ll make me realize that hey, he’s the reason everything else failed to make space for him. Well, that didn’t sound all too good, but, yeah. I’m hopeful that things a year from now, years from now, will make sense. Just like how all the things career-wise are making sense to me right now.
Here’s to hoping that one day, all these will make perfect sense.