Life >>> Career (and some things to ponder upon post-work-out)

Stress piles up until it becomes one big fireball that explodes into your face.

I’ve had a recent (sort of) altercation with a colleague (and friend); been quite a complainer these past few days; the littlest details irritate the hell out of me; been having messy outbursts to people I hold dear; been so masungit to my parents lately;  been harboring negative thoughts about things and people and everything else in the world. And it makes me sad. I’m sad. It’s sad.

I miss my dogs, I miss going out with friends. I miss hanging around with my lonesome; I miss reading in a quaint coffee shop; I miss having a life (and someone to share it with. Lol). I’m barely alone – always surrounded by people and happenings these days and I just need a pause in life. Even superheroes get to have a break, I suppose. And so I decided to workout a bit tonight to finally clear my head of all the negative things and stress and what-have-yous. In the midst of all the chaos this simple life brings, there, I got the calm, the serenity I’ve been praying for. And just like all epiphanies, it comes right at ya when you least expect it. I’ve realized, I want relatively simple life. I’d take a simple life any time of the day. I’d take the life over career anytime of the day. I’m at the point in my life where I can say I have a fair gauge of the things I truly want. And I must say, for the first time, I’d choose having a life over an overly successful life anytime of the day. Of course I still want to be a Pediatrician someday, but burying myself with work and having no time to actually cultivate all the other aspects of my persona won’t definitely give me happiness in the future. And this makes me happy. Realizing these sort of things make me happy. 🙂

 

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True Love

I live in a developing country. Now, some people might cringe at the idea of this but I can’t be more thankful. See, I get to see and live on both sides – I get to see a glimpse of the high life like that of developed countries yet get to stay grounded as I also get to live and experience what it’s like for people living below the poverty line. And these are some things easily overlooked when you’re looking far too ahead in the horizon.

My family and I are not what you can call rich. My dad used to tell us when we were younger, that we’re definitely not rich. He wouldn’t be needing to work if we were rich. We get by with the right amount of comfort and some luxury here and there but not all the time. We weren’t raised with all the riches and luxuries, there is. We were exposed to a better world, yes, but definitely not that of the alta de ciudad.

Being exposed to various people on all walks of life will either dismay you or inspire you. I actually get the latter often especially when I deal with patients and their families. It is true that in sickness one gets to witness what it’s like to love and be loved entirely. A while ago, I was blessed to witness just that. I’m not enjoying nor celebrating the fact of someone ill here, but I was merely inspired by the fact that true love does rise and reveal itself during hardships.

A few minutes ago, my uncle (mom’s older brother from a brood of 12) came by our house in need of financial assistance. I know this is such commonplace in Filipino culture but not in our family – especially my mom’s. They were raised in a strict Spanish household and although they do help each other out after all, they’re family – they don’t just ask for money for they know the value of working hard for it. Anyway, a while ago, my uncle came by and was asking for some help. What actually touched me was not the fact that he did that himself but how his eyes sparked whenever he lovingly talked about his wife. Not one point did he complain about the difficulty in taking care of his wife who suffered a stroke and is now paralyzed. Instead, he loved to tell their conversations and funny moments. Here is one man who traveled miles and miles to ask for aid from his daily struggle but all he relayed was his happiness and positivity at a difficulty situation. Amazing. There you are, people. True love at its finest. I wish someday, somehow, I’d be able to marry a man as decent and as pure as my uncle who, despite adversity, remained true and loving to his wife. Bless his heart and I pray for his and his wife’s health.

 

I’m just overjoyed to be able to witness God’s amazing handy work. I am in awe. ♥

#tb series: Malaysia, the 1st day chronicles

Well, it’s been a long time coming and it’s been almost a year since this trip. Honestly, I still haven’t seen all of my shots from this vacation. Hahahaha The initial plan was, I’d get to see all of it once I edit them but, until this very day, I still haven’t had the time to edit everything. I guess, I’m on my 2nd day already. Hahaha Still a couple of days left. 😀

So anyway, this trip was in April 14 – April 19 of 2014. We were in Malaysia from the 14th until the 17th then hopped a bus to Singapore and stayed there from the 17th to 19th. This trip was actually an answered prayer. You see, I really planned to travel on or before my 25th birthday. I figured, I need to be exposed to another country, culture and environment to end my first quarter of existence. I really planned and started saving money but it turned out really difficult when one does not have a job. Haha Thanks to my aunt, uncle and parents, this trip was made possible. It was my first trip without my parents, and a first time far from the Philippine shores. We booked this trip Dec of 2013 so technically, it was before my birthday. Hehe This only shows that if one wants something hard enough, coupled with good intentions and prayers, the universe will do conspire to give you all that is that your heart desires. 🙂 Thank you, law of attraction and the Superior Being above for the blessings 🙂 Without further ado, here are the shots from our first day in Malaysia.

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The plane we were about to board. Can I just say how excited I am? 😀

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The amazing Morales family ❤ (L-R) Joy, Tita Eden, JC, JM

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My inner kid is squealing as the plane started along the runway as if a scary theme-park ride is about to start. And yes, I get to have the window seat. Hihi

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Bye, Philippines! See you in a few days’ time! :3

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Plane rides are one of the perfect venues for some book lovin’. The chosen read for this trip is The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd 🙂

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I’ve always loved the sky and look, today I get to be one with the clouds ❤

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Just looking at these pics just makes me smile and joy fills my heart. By far the best way to relax. :3

And we finally arriiiiiiiiiive!!! The 4-hour flight was woooorth it <3

And we finally arriiiiiiiiiive!!! The 4-hour flight was woooorth it ❤

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And of course, that obligatory selfie when the plane has just landed, and you're struggling to roll your luggage and hurrying at the same time cos your family has left you behind. Hahahaha

And of course, that obligatory selfie when the plane has just landed, and you’re struggling to roll your luggage and hurrying at the same time cos your family has left you behind. Hahahaha and please pardon my bare face. I honestly didn’t have enough time to fix myself in-between the packing and rushing to the airport. Haha

And of course here are a couple more of ’em random airport shots. Can you just feel how thrilling this was for me? Hahahaha

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Of course my feet gets to be on the spotlight too, ya know! 😀 Well, I do try to do this whenever I get to places I’ve been to. It’s not the most unique and it is indeed a pretty common practice, but I do like what it represents – as if I’m making my own mark on places I get to visit at my own timestamp.

I try to do this to every place I get to :)

Say hello to my Samsonite luggage, unmatched nail polish and travel-efficient wedges. 🙂

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Soooo, Malaysia has this amazing urban planning and their airport is away from the city (so much different from the Philippines) and although it’s a bit far and can only mean nothing but additional travel hours, I really like it. The city gets to be the city and center, while the country side remains to be the countryside. Not much traffic, and not to mention, the scenery is just amazing.

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I swear to try this the next time I visit. Yep, you definitely won’t be seeing the last of me, Malaysia truly Asia!

We rode a bus from LCCT (the airport) to KL Center where we’d be meeting up with our uncle and my cousins’ dad, Tito Cesar. And from there, we had to ride a taxi to our hotel which wasn’t far enough (which I’ll be telling more about on my upcoming posts). What struck me most upon landing was just how homey the country is – more like the Philippines (maybe because of the humidity), but I don’t know. I can’t quite grasp how similar and different it is at the same time. I actually admire Malaysia, its government and people. Don’t get me wrong, I love my country. I’d serve and die for it, but, while I was there, my eyes was actually opened to the truth that hey, this could have been a possibility for my country too – untouched rainforests, good urban planning, good public transport, affordable food, clean environment, preserved historical places, amazing malls and affordable goodies everywhere. Somehow, a stranger like me was able to feel that I can belong, I am welcome (sans the welcome party. Haha) and I can live there if I choose to. En route KL Center, I remember looking out the bus windows and just feeling great at all the greens we pass by. It was so serene and I ended up not minding the extra travel hours at all. I’m just glad Malaysia was the first ever country I get to visit abroad. 🙂

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Two-faced

Today, a patient has verbally abused me. There, let’s start with that to finally let it all out. There were a lot of things I wish I said had I not been too shocked to react; but, I’m glad and proud too that I haven’t spoken more than what I should have. At least one of us need not stoop that low. Only a coward would prey on someone whom he thinks he has most power over at.

He was feeding off of my confusion at the situation. There I was, happily starting my day expecting I’d be somehow of help to someone who is ill or has concerns but all I got are shouts, complaints and what-have-you’s on things I do not even have control over. There was even a point between his banters and finger-pointing wherein I really think he could’ve hit me just to channel his frustration and anger. I don’t know, maybe yes, I could’ve imagined that but I couldn’t help but be thankful that I was out of arm’s reach, and somehow more elevated than where he was – sitting on his bed. All I could ever think of is withholding my tears just to not let him have that final victory over me. I have encountered a handful of difficult people in my life but this has definitely been a first. What hurt most was despite his irate demeanor, I was really trying my best to know what ails him to be somehow of help, and yet, he mocked me, pointed at me and shouted at me as if he owned me. What right does a person have to treat another as if s/he is an object that have just been bought?

It is humbling and degrading at the same time, to be honest. Being a part of the healthcare team has its highs and lows. I guess this is the side of service provision we cannot totally will away. We can never really predict how each and every person react to certain situations and no matter how fulfilling this career is, there are and will always be unreasonable people out there. So just a little reminder, folks, Horton couldn’t have put it any more precisely:

Excerpt from Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who

Excerpt from Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who


Yey for firsts!

Sooooo apparently I’m more bummed by the fact that I’m not able to attend this year’s fair than being dateless this day. Hahahahaha All my favorite people have come together and yessssss they’d be getting drunk and making more drunk memories together and I’m in here trying to juggle my time so I can finish all the readings for next week’s exams. Yep, highlight the S – exams – PLURAL. Hahaha Okay, I’m not actually complaining, really, but I would’ve loved it if I didn’t have that much to do so I can be with my friends this evening. Oh well, I promised myself I’d keep my head on the road and focus on graduating on time and not getting extended. In short, I have to do extra well on my upcoming exams.

Speaking of roads, it was my first day in driving school today and it felt awesome (cue music: Celebration by Kool & The Gang Haha). I didn’t expect to find such weird enjoyment in it to think I’ve been putting it off for so long cos I’m so lazyyyy. Hahahaha And please don’t judge me, I just got used to having someone drive me around wherever. Hahahaha Okay fine, that didn’t sound like a better excuse. So anyway, it was my first day a while ago and I got complimented like a LOT by my instructor cos believe it or not, the engine didn’t die on me, I have a knack for clutch control and I slow down, start and stop smoothly. How’s that for someone who NEVER had a driving background? Hihi Sorry, I’m too proud. Anyway, I was able to drive about 2k a while ago. Just some slow driving and had a couple of annoyed drivers behind me cos I was not driving beyond the 2nd gear. HAHAHAHAHAHA BUUUUUUUT it was my first time, so please gimme a break (#wordplay get it, get it? Break, brake? Okay, that was eye-rolling material. Haha). I can’t wait to have my next class next week. My pops was pretty proud cos finally I got an interest in driving. You see, my brother and I can’t seem to be bothered with cars. Who would’ve thought that my dad’s only problem was how to get me and my brother move our asses and be interested in handling the stick when most parents’ teens can’t get their hands off the steering wheel. Hahahahaha I know, me and my siblings are weird. Had I not badly needed to learn how to drive, I wouldn’t even bother enrolling. Apparently, in my career, I need to learn how to. Hahahahaha Okaaaaay, the point is, I didn’t expect to have fun but a while ago, it was more than fun – I felt awesome.

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Me in a few weeks’ time. Hahaha Oh, and thanks giphy for the gif

Embrace the Unknown

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Many a time I have often wondered,
What is it that I am here for?
Many a time I found myself unanswered
Whether or not to open one door.

In this life of ceaseless wonder
Days and days pass unknowing, uncalled for
But let’s all find beauty on this vagueness,
Let our hearts fly, dream with the wind, and soar!

As we thread to our own paths and ‘roads’
We may sometimes fall prey to traps and blunders
But life has this way of teaching in riddles
For all you know, you’re heading to the right direction!

So hold on dear friend, for we’re not meant to ‘see’ all the way
Take comfort in ‘not knowing’ & soon enough, everything will be okay.

January: So Far

It’s almost 4 in the morning and I have been up since 1. At this cold weather, I woke up in sweat and just couldn’t sleep back. So, as I sniff my way through this post (and not to mention, the days to come), here are a couple of updates (and no, this still does not include promised posts from the last holiday season):

MABUHAY, POPE FRANCIS!
Classes and offices  have been suspended since Thursday of this week because the current head of the Catholic Church came for a visit. For a country who’s population are mostly Christians, it is indeed a pretty great deal. I’ve known for months that the Pope is indeed coming but I couldn’t care less. You see, I’m not a very pious person and I’m not very familiar with him. But then weeks prior to his visit, a documentation at History Channel featured his life and ideals – now, that indeed got me interested. He is one person who has broken the odds. He is no conformist and stands by what he believes is right. Now, that there is a mark of a true leader. Well anyway, that still didn’t spark my interest enough to make me go out of my way and try to see him. Some friends were already fussing about getting tickets and planning where to wait for him but I didn’t even try to entertain the idea of actually trying to brave the streets of Manila just to see him. And of course, I fully regretted this decision when I saw him on live television.
While flipping through channels, I happen to pass by the live telecast and maaaaaan, after a few minutes, I noticed myself on full smile and on the verge of tears. And I was like, ‘WTH. He has done nothing so far but smile, throw jokes at the guards and wave en route Villamor Airbase’ Haha. But, yeah, he had that effect and it was surreal, to think I was just looking through my tube box. Well, from that minute on, I promised myself to try to see him in Rome at least once in my lifetime. He just has this calm, warm and open personality which really draws me in. And, his love for children and intelligent opinion on sensitive issues of course, really meant a whole lot to me. It’s as if he is changing the face of Catholicism. He is not (or does not allow himself to be) strictly boxed by traditional beliefs of the church. He is open to the fact that one does not only need the teachings of the Catholic Church, but can also get from, or learn from the teachings of other religions. He never said or implied that Catholic is the only religion. He believes in one God but not in one, perfect religion. And lastly, when I read about what he said during his flight to Sri Lanka about freedom of speech, it got me sold and blew me away. As what I have always firmly believed in – as with all things, freedom of speech too, is bounded by limits. One is held responsible for the words he/she is throwing out to the world. Because really, not just because you have the freedom, you are free to do whatever you want with it and try to hurt other people. It’s not conformism or being bounded by social stigma, but it’s humanity, people. So anyway, if someone as great as this Pope leads the whole church, then, maybe, having the birthright to Catholicism isn’t so bad after all.

Blast from the Past: Celebrate Life. Celebrate You.

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Background grabbed here.

Just a few hours ago, my classmates and I got a chance to conduct a seminar and hold a mini-party for cancer patients at UPHSD-Jonelta hospital. Yes, the preparations were tedious and yes, I was very very stressed out prior to the activity (such is the life of a nitty-gritty OC lady), but it all turned out great. Yes, I repeat, the activity was so successful that it had me all smiles the whole day. It was all worth it – the planning, layouts and of course execution. I’m just so proud we were all able to pull this one off. And maaaaaan, the smiles and laughter from all the survivors a while ago were priceless. It was indeed worth it. Laughter resonated the place throughout the whole activity and everyone enjoyed and had an awesome time. I feel so blessed to have been part of this great cause. I’m also blessed to have professors who believe that being a doctor isn’t solely about the technical part but is mostly about the heart. Heart is the heart of this profession. Hihi #word 😀 Anyway, I’m so thankful and blessed and happy and inspired. ♥

P.S. Event pics to follow soon. 🙂